smthn2sa

smthn2sa

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ALMOST A CENTURY

[Dec. 16th, 2008|12:50 am]

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Current Mood

sad

]

My mom died yesterday at 3:45pm, December 15, 2008 at the age of 91. She suffered for many years with lung disease, and was on oxygen 24 hours a day for the past several years. Last week Wednesday morning, she woke up feeling very weak. She had a doctors appointment that day, and she must have known that something was wrong, because she was eager to get there. Whatever was happening to her, she said that she couldn't explain it, except that she just felt weak. For some reason, she got up without her walker, and she lost her balance and fell or fainted.

By the time she got to the hospital, she was in a coma. A CAT scan was performed, and the doctor said that she had extensive bleeding on her brain, and that the blood was pushing her brain to one side. She was to elderly and frail to have surgery to remove the blood.  The doctor decided to give her a medication that would stop the bleeding and dry up the blood that was already there.  Hopefully, the brain would go back to its normal position once the blood dried up, and she would come out of the coma.

However, a second CAT scan was done Sunday Dec, 14th, and the Neurologist determined that she still had a lot of blood on the left side of her brain, and that she was brain damaged because of it.  The doctor said that she would be unable to come out of the coma. I thought my mother would die peacefully in her sleep at home. I never dreamed that something like this would happen to her. I didn't want her to die in the hospital around strangers.  It's difficult for me to believe that I will never see her again on this earth. I am going to miss her so much. I spent 51 years of my life with her, and She was the only one in this world who really and truely loved me.

I know that she is in a better place. She had such a difficult life, and she suffered so long with illness. If anyone deserves to go to heaven, she does.  As horrible as it was seeing my mother in a coma, it was some kind of awakening for me. I am compelled to find a way to live the rest of my life to the fullest. My mother had so many regrets, and so much sadness in her life up until the day she went into that coma. I choose not to live the rest of my life unhappy and alone.   I must find a way to change my life right now.

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